Breaking: IPCC Unveils Revolutionary ‘Do It Later’ Climate Procrastination Strategy

Breaking: IPCC Unveils Revolutionary ‘Do It Later’ Climate Procrastination Strategy

In a groundbreaking move that has climate scientists facepalming en masse, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has released its latest report, boldly titled “Eh, We’ll Get Around to It: A Procrastinator’s Guide to Saving the Planet.” This innovative IPCC climate procrastination strategy is set to revolutionize how we ignore global warming.

The Art of Climate Procrastination: A Masterclass

The report introduces the “Do It Later” strategy, a technique involving acknowledging climate warnings, expressing deep concern, and then promptly returning to Netflix.

“We’ve realized our previous approach of providing scientific evidence was clearly too radical,” said Dr. Procrastina Later, lead author. “So we’ve decided to align our recommendations with the global political zeitgeist of ‘meh, whatever.'”

World Leaders Embrace ‘Eventually’ as Official Timeframe

World leaders have enthusiastically embraced the IPCC climate procrastination strategy, praising its alignment with their longstanding tradition of kicking the climate can down the road.

“This report validates what we’ve been doing all along,” declared one unnamed world leader, speaking from his soon-to-be-underwater beachfront property. “We’re not procrastinating; we’re strategically delaying for optimal results!”

New Climate Goals: Sometime Before the Heat Death of the Universe

The report introduces a new, more achievable timeline for climate action: “sometime before the heat death of the universe.”

“This gives us much more flexibility,” explained Dr. Later. “Now, instead of feeling guilty about not meeting arbitrary deadlines, we can feel good about potentially doing something in the next few billion years.”

Elongated Muskrat, Founder and Chief PISR of Politically Incorrect Social Responsibility, couldn’t contain his excitement: “This is exactly the kind of innovative thinking we need! As a dreamer who’s passionate about improving the world, I fully support this ‘Do It Later’ approach. It perfectly aligns with my strategy of tweeting about saving the planet while simultaneously launching more rockets into space.”

As the world collectively sighs in relief at no longer having to feel bad about climate inaction, the IPCC has announced its next project: a self-help book titled “How to Learn to Stop Worrying and Love the Warm.” Because if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em… eventually.