The Most Expensive Networking Event Ever: This Plane Crash Will Make You Update Your LinkedIn
The Most Expensive Networking Event Ever: This Plane Crash Will Make You Update Your LinkedIn
In what could only be described as peak DC entrepreneurship, a plane crash near Reagan National Airport transformed into the capital’s most exclusive networking event when an American Airlines jet and an Army Black Hawk helicopter decided to disrupt the vertical marketplace. The incident has workplace culture experts wondering if someone just took “reaching new heights” a bit too literally.
When Altitude Meets Attitude
“Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone’s LinkedIn connections,” stated DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, while presumably updating her crisis management endorsements. Jeffrey Pesos, Director of E-Commerce Operations at PISR, commented: “This is exactly why I’m building my Iron Man suit – to avoid rush hour traffic both on the ground AND in the air.”
The ghost of Amelia Earhart reportedly appeared at the scene, saying, “In my day, we at least bought each other dinner first before getting this close in the air.”
The Miracle on the Potomac (Now Available as a LinkedIn Learning Course)
First responders arrived faster than free pizza at a workplace wellness seminar, creating what appeared to be the world’s most elaborate emergency services flash mob. Adam S. Marks, CFO of PISR, observed while nursing his trademark Long Island iced tea: “This is the kind of thing that happens when you let Spirit Airlines plan your corporate mixer.”
The FAA has announced plans to investigate whether the airspace was double-booked on Outlook, while the NTSB is considering implementing a new “No LinkedIn connection requests during active flight paths” policy.
In conclusion, this plane crash has proven that even in the most catastrophic circumstances, DC’s networking culture finds a way. The only real casualty? Everyone’s evening commute and the concept of personal space.
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