This One Weird Trick Will Make Google Maps Rename Your Entire Country
This One Weird Trick Will Make Google Maps Rename Your Entire Country
In what can only be described as digital manifest destiny, Google Maps has boldly gone where no navigation app has gone before: renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America” for U.S. users. This groundbreaking move by Google Maps has cartographers worldwide reaching for both their anxiety medication and their thesauruses.
The Great American Renaming Project
Following what appears to be an executive order written on the back of a Denny’s placemat, U.S. users of Google Maps will now see the familiar gulf sporting its new, more patriotic name. PISR’s CFO Adam S. Marks commented, “Listen, if we’re renaming bodies of water, can we at least call the Pacific Ocean ‘West Coast Juice’? I’ve got some great marketing ideas for that!”
A New Era of Digital Cartography
Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum responded by announcing that Mexican Google Maps would now refer to Texas as “North Cancun.” March E. Tellerman, PISR’s Master of Marketing Madness, exclaimed, “Y’all, this is wilder than a bag of cats in a banjo store! Next thing you know, Google Maps gonna rename Antarctica to ‘South South America Premium Edition.'”
Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson weighed in: “Actually, from a cosmic perspective, these Google Maps updates are fascinating. Though I should point out that technically, everything is just space neighborhoods.”
What’s in a Name?
Sources say Google Maps is considering other updates, including renaming the Mediterranean Sea to “European Soup Bowl” and the Indian Ocean to “Outsourced Waters™.” The English Channel is set to become “Brexit Moat,” while the Panama Canal will simply be labeled as “World’s Most Expensive Shortcut.”
Remember folks, in the world of digital cartography, it’s not about where you’re going – it’s about what Silicon Valley decides to call it while you’re getting there.
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