Ticket to Purgatory

Description

Tired of the mundane rush of life? Seeking a break from the thrill of excitement? Look no further! Presenting the one-of-a-kind Purgatory FastPass – where waiting is the new fun!

Experience the joy of infinite queuing. Just when you think it’s your turn, the line extends! It’s like waiting for Space Mountain, but we only charge $40 for a lifetime instead of spending over $100 per day! And by acting now, you may be the first in line to try Purgatory’s new patent-pending Crowd Simulator. Perfect for practicing your ‘standing awkwardly in public’ skills (being first in line in Purgatory, not our patent-pending Crowd Simulator – the latter is just a patent on made-for-TV music festivals).

You can also watch paint dry or grass grow – literally. Purgatory’s state-of-the-art waiting rooms feature live streams of the world’s least exciting activities.

Act now and get your Ticket to Purgatory at this unbelievably low price before we decide to follow in Disneyland’s footsteps and increase our pricing because we, too, understand how much you love to wait.

*Disclaimer: validity of ticket might be guaranteed, but you’ll have to wait and see. Potentially-transferable. Possibility of refund once purchased somewhere between 0-100%. Remember, in Purgatory, patience is more than a virtue – it’s a lifestyle! You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.