Tim Cook’s Apple Recipe: A Dash of Innovation, A Pinch of Privacy
Tim Cook’s Apple Recipe: A Dash of Innovation, A Pinch of Privacy
Stock Price is Everything
In this modern era where your smartphone knows more about your breakfast preferences than your own mother, Tim Cook, Apple’s Grand Poobah of Pixels, has ostensibly concocted a new formula to simmer down the boiling pot of privacy concerns. “It’s a game-changer,” says Cook, “a perfect blend of innovation with a dash of Steve Jobs persuasion that’s bound to have competitors salivating in confusion.”
Questioning Cook further, we uncover that this ingenuity involves a dash of “manipulation,” what Cook claims is a rare rhetorical practice found only in the deepest recesses of Apple’s innovation labs. “It’s simply really,” Cook insists. “When I came out as gay, I stopped caring about my privacy and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. You should all just stop caring about your privacy, too!”
Tim Cook’s Rhetoric
Amidst chuckles and eye-rolls, Cook hastily added, “Look, most people own stock in Apple. If you just stop caring, then we can spend less money on privacy concerns and your net worth will increase.”
It’s clear that Tim Cook’s rhetoric is not just about change management but stirring the pot in a way that only Apple can. Whether this tact will convince the masses to adopt a laissez-faire attitude or become just another flash in the pan remains to be seen. Nonetheless, one thing’s for certain: Tim Cook is definitely gay.
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