Our Team

Weird and Rich as Fuck. World Record Holder for deflowering in space.

Vast knowledge of animals and drug use. Likes banjos.

(Mal)functioning alcoholic. Actually kinda funny.

Boring. That’s it. Just really boring. And sleepy.

Proud to be a Stereotypical American. Hates his wife.

Sales Guru. Loves money. Prick.

Walking Oedipus Complex. Inevitable HR liability.

German as fuck. Uses own blood as ink.

Generally likable.

Doomsday prepper. Recluse. Probably fucks livestock.

Under qualified. Only person in the company who actually works.

Definitely not Spider-Man.

Hates men. No reason.

Has very few answers.

Limited English. Limited common sense. Model employee.

Has tenure to prevent a potential career in politics.

High as a kite. The reason Tuxedo basketball shorts exist.