Disney’s Magical Legal Powers: Subscribe and Waive Your Rights

Disney’s Magical Legal Powers: Subscribe and Waive Your Rights

In a stunning display of the “Disney magic legal loophole,” the company recently argued that a widower couldn’t sue them for wrongful death because he had signed up for a Disney+ trial. That’s right – apparently streaming “Frozen” gives Disney the legal right to “let it go” when it comes to liability!

The Most Litigious Place on Earth

Disney’s lawyers claimed that the late Kanokporn Tangsuan’s widower, Jeffrey Piccolo, couldn’t bring a lawsuit because he entered an arbitration agreement by subscribing to Disney+. As legal expert Elsa Legalese put it, “In the world of Disney, signing up for a streaming service is like signing away your soul to Ursula the Sea Witch.”

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Backlash

After public outcry over their absurd argument, Disney pulled a magic trick and reversed course faster than you can say “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” Chairman Josh D’Amaro said they now want to “put humanity above all other considerations,” which is corporate speak for “We’d rather not have a PR nightmare worse than ‘Song of the South.'”

Elongated Muskrat, founder of PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, weighed in: “I may be a dreamer, but even I wouldn’t try to use a Disney+ subscription to get away with wrongful death. That’s just cartoon villainy!”

The “Happily Ever After” Clause

So remember, kids – the next time you sign up for a streaming service, check the fine print for the “Disney magic legal loophole.” You might just be signing away your right to a fair trial in front of a jury of your favorite Disney princesses!

Welcome to the wonderful world of Disney, where even your basic legal rights are subject to the whims of the Magic Kingdom. Talk about a whole new world of corporate dystopia!