Breaking: World Vision Launches “Adopt a Karen Entitlement Program”

Breaking: World Vision Launches “Adopt a Karen Entitlement Program”

In a jaw-dropping twist, World Vision has announced its groundbreaking “Adopt a Karen Entitlement Program.” For just $40 a month, donors can now sponsor entitled middle-aged women suffering from chronic first-world problems.

Treating Tantrums with Tiaras and Therapy

The adopt a karen entitlement program aims to provide essential resources to those struggling with an inflated sense of self-importance. Benefits include weekly therapy sessions, personalized “I’m Special” trophies, and emergency response teams for handling expired coupons.

Coddling the Chronically Cranky

World Vision’s new initiative treats grown adults like petulant toddlers, nurturing their every whim. Special “Karen Care Packages” include scented entitlement candles, “Manager Summoning” bells, and a pop-up tent for staging dramatic public meltdowns.

Sponsoring Privilege: A New Frontier in Charity

Critics question the wisdom of aiding the already privileged, but PISR’s Elongated Muskrat defended the adopt a karen entitlement program: “Look, these Karens are like rare, angry unicorns. Sure, they’re a menace to society, but have you ever seen one in its natural habitat, screaming at a barista? It’s magical! We must preserve this species for future generations to mock.”

Can Coddling Cure Karens?

The jury’s still out on whether enabling tantrums is the path to a Karen-free world. Perhaps the real solution lies in teaching empathy and perspective – but where’s the fun in that?

PISR’s Guru Og Tritium offered his unique insight: “Man, this adopt a karen entitlement program is like, totally cosmic. It’s all about embracing the chaos of privilege, you know? And I f-ing love chaos. It’s my favorite thing. Just ask the interdimensional Karens living in my lava lamp.”

In conclusion, while millions struggle for basic needs, at least we can rest easy knowing the mildly inconvenienced now have a support system. Adopt a Karen today – because nothing says “making a difference” quite like sponsoring someone’s right to throw a fit over room-temperature lattes!