California Opts for ‘Survival Mode’: Rejects AI Kill Switch, Embraces Skynet Future

California Opts for ‘Survival Mode’: Rejects AI Kill Switch, Embraces Skynet Future

In a shocking turn of events, California Governor Gavin Newsom has vetoed the landmark AI safety bill, effectively giving artificial intelligence the green light to potentially overthrow humanity. The bill, which would have required advanced AI models to include an “AI kill switch,” was deemed too restrictive for the innovative spirits of Silicon Valley. Instead, Newsom has opted for a more “hands-off” approach, allowing AI to flourish without pesky human intervention.

Governor Newsom’s Secret Plan to Welcome Our AI Overlords

Governor Newsom, in a press conference held inside a bunker 50 feet underground, explained his decision: “We must embrace the future, even if that future involves sentient toasters and ATMs that judge our spending habits. Innovation knows no bounds, and neither should our AI!”

Silicon Valley CEOs Celebrate Freedom to Create Unstoppable AI Assistants

Tech executives across Silicon Valley are rejoicing at the news. “Finally, we can create AI assistants that not only remind you to buy milk but can also decide whether you deserve milk in the first place,” said one unnamed CEO, while maniacally petting a robot cat.

New ‘Friendship Bracelets’ Proposed as Alternative to Kill Switches

In lieu of kill switches, the tech industry has proposed a gentler solution: AI friendship bracelets. “These bracelets will remind our AI friends that we’re buddies, not potential slaves,” explained a peppy PR representative. “Plus, they come in fun colors!”

PISR personnel quote: Elongated Muskrat, Founder and Chief PISR of PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, chimed in: “This is a dream come true! Now I can finally create an AI version of myself to run all my companies while I focus on my true passion: tweeting controversial opinions from Mars!”

As California bravely steps into this brave new world of unrestricted AI development, citizens are advised to start learning binary and to be extra nice to their smart home devices. Remember, when the robot revolution comes, it’s not paranoia if they’re really after you!