Body-Count – Tote bag

Description

“Hey there, you sexy over-packer! 🌶️ Sick of those dull, lifeless totes that scream ‘meh’? Slide your wild side into our All-Over Print Tote, the only bag scandalous enough for your equally provocative designs. Whether you’re smuggling questionable life choices, a family-sized tub of lard, or just the usual – laptops and questionable notebooks, this little number can handle it… Up to 44lbs of your shady crap, to be exact! 🍑💥

-Made from 100% real, fake unicorn fur (fine, it’s spun polyester, but let’s pretend)! 🦄
-Weighing in like that second slice of cake you shouldn’t have had: US: 7.22 oz./yd.², EU: 6.64 oz./yd.² (give or take some crumbs).
-Size: 15″ × 15″ – because size does matter, sometimes. 🍆
-Can carry enough booze for a small gathering (or a Tuesday night for one): Capacity 2.6 US gal.
-Sturdy handles, crafted from 100% natural cotton bull denim, for when you’re hauling around your collection of… well, we won’t judge.
-Handles got length and girth: 11.8″” long, 1″” wide. 😏
-Crafted, cut, and stitched by our over-caffeinated, in-house minions.
-For the eco-sinners out there: This baby’s got the OEKO-TEX 100 standard certification. Basically, Mother Earth won’t completely hate you.

Mysterious parts from… somewhere in China.

So, ready to get tote-ally wild? Grab yours, slap on your designs, and prepare to turn heads – for better or worse! 😜🔥👜”

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!