Walking-Virtue-Signal – Drawstring bag

Description

“Got commitment issues? Can’t decide if you’re a gym bag lover, a drawstring devotee, or a backpack buff? Well, honey, why choose when you can have a steamy ménage à trois with all three? Introducing the gym bag’s sexy alter ego – the DrawBackPack™️! It’s not just a bag; it’s a saucy statement. 🎒😜

Get down and dirty with the deets:

-Made of 100% seductively spun polyester (it’s like satin sheets for your sweaty socks).
-Roomy size: 15″ × 17″, because size DOES matter.
-Fabric so thick it’s almost scandalous: around 7.22 oz/yd², but who’s getting technical in bed…or gym?
-Can handle a heavy load of up to 33 lbs. And we’re talking about the bag, you perv! 🙄
-Twin cotton handles, because double the fun, right?
-Sultry drawstring closure, making undressing (or unpacking) part of the foreplay.
-Crafted passionately by our in-house artisans who might’ve whispered dirty jokes while making it.
-OEKO-TEX 100 standard certified fabric, because even bad boys have standards.
-Price includes a full-frontal print. 😏

Conceived in the wild workshops of China.

This bad boy’s hot and ready for a sweaty session. Snag one before it’s too popular and starts ghosting! 😈💦🔥”