Walking-Virtue-Signal – Fanny Pack

Description

“Who says you can’t flaunt your junk in front and center? Welcome to the renaissance of the Fanny Pack—a.k.a. the ‘Booty Bag’ for those who like to keep their assets close. Perfect for when your pockets aren’t deep enough, or your dance moves are just too wild. 😜💃

Peep this sassy sack’s specs:

-100% salacious polyester for the smoothest of touches.
-Meaty fabric weight at around 9.56 oz/yd², but hey, who’s weighing?
-Resistant to water, so go ahead and make it wet with your dance sweat. 💦
-Size that screams, ‘Look at me!’: 6.5″ tall, 13″ wide, and 2¾″ in girth.
-Zipper that goes both ways, ’cause we’re not here to judge. 🌈
-A sneaky inner pocket for your naughty little secrets.
-A label on the inside pocket, because even fanny packs have inner beauty.
-Silky insides to cradle your belongings like a sultry serenade.
-Adjustable straps for when you’re feeling thicc or thin. 😏
-Stitched together by our in-house sorcerers who probably have cooler dance moves than you.
-Legit safety stuff: CPSIA & fabric certificates, because even rebels need protection.

Born from the risqué workshops of China.

Slide into this pack and flaunt that junk! And remember, size doesn’t matter; it’s how you wear it. 😈🍑🔥

Get it hot and fresh, whenever you’re feeling frisky!”