Accidental Microaggressor – Men’s Recycled Athletic Shorts

Description

“Ladies, Gents, and Mischief Makers of All Calibers!🎉

Introducing the “”Flash-Your-Assets”” Recycled Shorts: Where eco-friendliness meets audacious cheekiness! Whether you’re doing scandalous squats or making risqué rendezvous, these shorts scream, “”Look at my glorious glutes while saving the planet, one squat at a time!””

The juicy details? Hold onto your knickers!

-91% recycled polyester (from that bottle of regret you tossed last weekend) and a saucy 9% spandex. Wiggle, jiggle, and show off that environmental giggle!
-These bad boys weigh in at a solid 5.13 oz. /yd. ². Just like your last midnight snack – worth every ounce.
-Four-way stretch moisture-wicking microfiber fabric. Sweat scandalously, dry suspiciously fast!
-Get your breath back faster than spotting an ex in public thanks to our breathable material.
-UPF50+ because your butt deserves only the highest grade protection from those peeping sun rays.
-Sexy 6.5″ inseam: because revealing just enough leaves them wanting more.
-Elastic waistband that might remind you of your youth, with a drawstring that’s as unpredictable as your weekend plans.
-Mesh pockets. For your dirty little secrets… and maybe some change.
-No inner lining. Because, darling, it’s what’s on the outside that scandalizes.
-Our in-house team of sassy seamstresses and pantsy pranksters have expertly crafted each piece while probably laughing at your next bad decision.

Even our fabric has a gold star for being a goodie-two-shoes with OEKO-TEX Standard 100 and Global Recycled Standard (GRS) certifications. Straight from the forbidden closets of China.

Come on, let those legs cause a scene! And remember, life’s too short for boring shorts. Order on demand, because waiting is only for your ex’s text messages. 🍑🌍🔥🎉👀”