Description
“””Beachside Badassery for Tweenage Tsunamis!”” 🌊🔥🏖️
Yo, sun-kissed rebels and splash-happy mavericks! Forget the normie beach attire and slap on our ludicrously vibrant, freakin’ fearless “”Beachside Badassery Swimsuit!”” Perfect for those ‘too cool for pool’ renegades who wouldn’t be caught dead in last summer’s lame threads.
Deep Dive into the Details (because, y’know, we gotta be somewhat adult here):
-Cooked up from 82% pure chutzpah and 18% stretchy wonder.
-Weighing in like a beach bod champ at 6.78 oz./yd.² (230g/m²). Might wiggle a bit by 5%, just like Uncle Larry after one too many piña coladas.
-UPF 50+ – Hell, yeah! Sunburn is so passé.
-Stretches four-ways, ’cause why limit the fun to just left and right?
-A double-layered front to keep those secrets… well, secret.
-Stitched tougher than a shark’s attitude, thanks to our overlock magic.
-As smooth as your pick-up lines (well, smoother, actually) with our zesty microfiber yarn.
-Go full diva with an optional custom label on the inside front.
-Magically whipped up by our in-house gang of crafty elves, rumored to be on the run from the fashion police.
Born global: ingredients from China, and a pinch of love from the US and Mexico (EU buddies, we’ve added a dash of Polish flavor for you).
But hey, beware! This suit has a mortal enemy: rough surfaces and that dastardly velcro! Keep it classy, and you’ll be the seaside sensation of the season.
Get your mitts on this masterpiece pronto! Why? ‘Cause we said so. 🌞🦈🍉🍹”
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
• Traceability:
– Knitting—China
– Dyeing—China
– Manufacturing—Latvia
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances
• This item releases plastic microfibers into the environment during washing
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