Ancient Landmarks Stage “Rock-in” Protest: Climate Change Denial Crumbles Under Pressure

Ancient Landmarks Stage “Rock-in” Protest: Climate Change Denial Crumbles Under Pressure

In a groundbreaking turn of events, ancient structures are rebelling against climate change denial by literally falling apart. It seems our stony elders have decided to take matters into their own foundations, leaving archaeologists and geologists scratching their heads and reaching for their hard hats at the ancient landmarks stage protests of the most serious degree.

The Great Pyramid Sit-Down Strike

The movement erupted in Mexico when a 1,100-year-old pyramid dramatically collapsed after a rainstorm. Eyewitnesses reported hearing a gravelly voice grumble, “That’s it, I’m out. You humans are denser than my building blocks.” That’s quite a statement the ancient landmark made.

Double Arch’s Dramatic Exit: A Statement or Just Drama?

Not to be outdone, Utah’s Double Arch chose to make its own statement. The 190-million-year-old “Toilet Bowl” apparently decided it was done taking crap from climate skeptics and flushed itself right out of existence.

Park ranger Cliff Hanger quipped, “We always thought erosion was a slow process, but it turns out rocks have a flair for the dramatic when they’re trying to make a point.”

Global Monument Union Demands Action

As ancient structures rebel against climate inaction, rumors swirl about a Global Monument Union. The Eiffel Tower is considering a “lean-in” protest, while the Leaning Tower of Pisa threatens to straighten up if demands aren’t met.

March E. Tellerman, our Master of Marketing Madness at PISR, commented: “Well, slap my mama and call me a honey badger! It’s like Mother Nature’s playing Jenga with history! These old rocks are saying, ‘If you won’t listen to scientists, maybe you’ll listen to a pile of really old rocks.’ Talk about stone-cold messaging! Now, has anyone seen my banjo-playing rooster? I think he’s trying to start a bird union.”

Scientists are now scrambling to communicate with our angry architecture. Dr. Roxy Granite, expert in psycholithic communication, stated, “We’re trying everything from seismic whispers to interpretive dance. If these rocks are rolling now, we better listen up.”

In the meantime, tourists are advised to approach historical sites with caution. That ancient wonder you’re posing next to might just decide it’s time for a career change – from steadfast monument to climate change activist.

Remember, the next rumbling you hear might not be an earthquake – it could be history giving humanity a much-needed wake-up call. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go apologize to our office paperweights.