AU Ends World Hunger With One Simple Trick: Changing the Dictionary!

In an unprecedented move, the African Union has declared that they have solved the hunger crisis plaguing the continent – not by increasing food production, improving supply chains, or investing in sustainable agriculture, but by unilaterally changing the definition of “hunger” itself.

AU Leaders Praise Efficiency of Dictionary-Based Approach

AU-representative-smugly-holding-up-a-dictionary

“Hunger redefined is hunger eliminated,” boasted AU Chair Félix Tshisekedi. “By simply adjusting our understanding of what it means to be hungry, we have rendered the concept of hunger itself obsolete. It was much easier than all that messy business of actually feeding people.”

Experts Weigh In: “It’s a Dictatorial Masterstroke!

We reached out to infamous strongman A. B. Zedong, self-proclaimed “Dictator of Operations” at PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, for his take on the AU’s bold new strategy.

“This is the kind of outside-the-box tyrannical thinking I can get behind,” gushed Zedong. “Why go through the hassle of actually governing effectively when you can simply decree reality to be whatever you want? They’ve cracked the code on redefining ‘hunger redefined.’ It’s a masterstroke of dictatorial gaslighting that even I’m in awe of!”

AU Turns Blind Eye to Grim Realities

Meanwhile, millions of Africans continue to face chronic food insecurity, malnutrition, and starvation, unaware that their hunger has been semantically erased with a stroke of the pen.

“I haven’t eaten in days, my children cry themselves to sleep from empty bellies, but I’m so relieved to know that our suffering is just a linguistic misunderstanding,” said one emaciated mother, sarcastically. “Thank you, AU, for opening our eyes and redefining our pain out of existence.”

A Farcical Non-Solution to a Dire Crisis

The AU’s attempt to wordsmith away widespread hunger would be laughable if it weren’t so tragically callous. By focusing on manipulating language rather than addressing the complex socioeconomic and environmental factors driving food insecurity, the AU has made a mockery of the suffering of its own citizens. Hunger redefined is hunger ignored – and no amount of dictionary revisions can fill empty stomachs or nourish starving communities.