Breaking: Assassination Attempt on Trump Revealed as Elaborate Prank to Confuse FBI

In a shocking turn of events, the recent assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump has been unveiled as nothing more than an elaborate prank designed to baffle law enforcement. The suspect, 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, apparently went to great lengths to ensure his actions would leave investigators scratching their heads for weeks to come.

The Perfect Crime: No Motive, No Problem

Sources close to the investigation report that Crooks spent months carefully cultivating a completely unremarkable online presence, leaving no trace of any political leanings or ideological motivations. “It’s like he doesn’t exist,” said one frustrated FBI agent. “We’ve never seen someone so committed to being unmotivated.”

Conspiracy Theories Reach New Heights of Absurdity

As the Trump assassination attempt motive mystery deepens, conspiracy theories have reached unprecedented levels of absurdity. One popular theory suggests that Crooks is actually a time traveler sent back to prevent a future where Trump becomes emperor of Mars.

“I’ve seen some wild theories in my time,” said political analyst Scott Mitchell of News 9 in Oklahoma, “but the idea that someone would attempt assassination just to confuse us? That’s a new low. Or high. I’m not sure anymore.”

When asked about the situation, Guru Og Tritium, Content Moderator at PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, offered this insightful comment: “Oh shit, the Donald was taken out? He sucks, but that totally like lowered my vibe. We shouldn’t be killing people, man.”

As the investigation continues, one thing remains clear: in the world of political pranks, the Trump assassination attempt motive mystery has set a new standard for leaving everyone completely baffled.