Breaking News: Boris Johnson Discovers Brexit Actually Means ‘Stay’
Breaking News: Boris Johnson Discovers Brexit Actually Means ‘Stay’
In a stunning turn of events, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has made a shocking discovery – Brexit, the term he’s been touting for years, actually means “stay” rather than “leave.” The revelation came to light after Johnson stumbled upon an old dictionary in his attic.
The Shocking Revelation
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Johnson exclaimed during a press conference.
“All this time, I thought Brexit meant ‘British Exit,’ but it turns out it’s derived from an obscure Old English word meaning ‘to remain steadfast.’ I feel like such a fool!”
Johnson’s Disbelief
The Prime Minister’s disbelief was palpable as he addressed the nation. “I’ve been campaigning for the exact opposite of what I intended. It’s like I’ve been playing chess but trying to checkmate my own king!”
Reactions from the Public and Politicians
The British public is reeling from this newfound knowledge. “I don’t know what to believe anymore,” said one baffled Brit. “Should I be happy or angry? I’m so confused!”
Quotes from Baffled Brits
Elongated Muskrat, eccentric billionaire founder of Politically Incorrect Social Responsibility (PISR), and a non-British person, weighed in on the situation: “Well, well, well. It looks like Boris has finally realized what I’ve been saying all along – sometimes, you just gotta stay put and let the chips fall where they may. Or was it the other way around? I can never remember. I’m powerful, so people listen to me regardless of my rhetoric.”
What Happens Next?
With this new understanding of Brexit, the future of the UK remains uncertain.
Will Johnson backtrack on his previous stance? Will he embrace “staying” with the same fervor he once devoted to “leaving”? Only time will tell.
In conclusion, Boris Johnson’s Brexit blunder serves as a reminder to always double-check your sources and definitions.
As for the UK’s future relationship with the EU, well, it seems they’ll be “Brexit-ing” together for a while longer.
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