Democrats Unveil “President Emeritus” Plan: Biden to Nap While Others Lead

Democrats Unveil “President Emeritus” Plan: Biden to Nap While Others Lead

In a stunning turn of events following President Biden’s shaky debate performance, Democrats have proposed Biden’s new “Presidency Emeritus” role. This groundbreaking position will allow Biden to retain his title and dignity while younger, more coherent candidates handle the day-to-day operations of running the country.

The Perks of Being President Emeritus

Under this innovative plan, President Biden will enjoy all the benefits of being the leader of the free world without any of the pesky responsibilities. Sources close to the White House reveal that a state-of-the-art nap pod is being installed in the Oval Office, ensuring Biden can rest comfortably between photo ops and ice cream socials.

“We believe this new role will showcase President Biden’s greatest strengths,” said a Democratic strategist who wished to remain anonymous. “He’ll be able to smile, wave, and occasionally mumble incoherently about the good old days without the stress of actually governing.”

Young Democrats Excited to Do All the Work

Meanwhile, ambitious young Democrats are chomping at the bit to take on the challenges of the presidency while Biden enjoys his emeritus status. Plans are already underway to create a “Presidential Task Force” comprised of energetic 30-somethings who can string together complete sentences without the aid of teleprompters.

New White House Nap Room Unveiled

The White House has announced the construction of a dedicated nap room, complete with soft lighting, soothing ocean sounds, and a life-size cardboard cutout of Barack Obama for comfort. “We want to ensure President Biden has a cozy space to recharge between his emeritus duties,” said White House Press Secretary in a statement that definitely wasn’t written by an AI.

March E. Tellerman, Master of Marketing Madness at PISR, couldn’t contain his excitement about the new plan. “Hot diggity dog, this ‘President Emeritus’ idea is crazier than a bag of cats on morphine! It’s like we’re giving ol’ Joe a permanent Thanksgiving turkey coma, but instead of waking up to leftover cranberry sauce, he gets to wake up to a country that’s still standin’. Now that’s what I call a win-win, folks!”

As the nation eagerly awaits the implementation of this revolutionary new role, one thing is certain: Biden’s new president emeritus role will undoubtedly set a new standard for political innovation and nap time efficiency.