Coming Soon: 'Dobson's Choice' - The Ultimate Family Values Competition!

Coming Soon: ‘Dobson’s Choice’ – The Ultimate Family Values Competition!

Get ready, America! The newest hit reality TV show is about to take your living rooms by storm. ‘Dobson’s Choice’ combines the timeless appeal of traditional family values with the heart-pounding excitement of cutthroat competition. It’s time to see which family can out-virtue-signal the rest in this wild family values competition!

The Ultimate Test of Old-Fashioned Morality

Ten all-American families will be pitted against each other in a series of challenges designed to push their commitment to good old-fashioned values to the brink. Who will emerge as the paragon of purity? Who will crumble under the weight of secular temptation? Tune in to find out!

“We’re really pushing the envelope with this family values competition,” says definitely-not-a-TV-executive Jane Doe. “It’s like ‘The Hunger Games’ meets ‘The Brady Bunch’, but with more Bible trivia and less teenage angst.”

Challenges That Put the ‘Fun’ in Fundamentalism

A comical scene of a baffled father in a frilly apron burning a pile of laundry, while a mother in a suit looks utterly perplexed by a lawnmower

The Great Gender Role Reversal Debacle

Watch as families struggle to maintain their 1950s-style composure when asked to swap traditional gender roles for a whole week.

Will Dad’s meatloaf bring about the apocalypse?

Will Mom’s attempt at mowing the lawn tear apart the fabric of society? The family that shouts “Think of the children!” the loudest wins!

Dinner Table Debate Doomsday

It’s the ultimate showdown of wits and righteousness! Families must navigate a minefield of hot-button issues while maintaining perfect 1950s table manners and avoiding the slightest hint of progressive thought. Points are deducted for each use of “How ’bout that sports team?” to dodge uncomfortable topics.

A family engaged in a heated debate at the dinner table, with thought bubbles showing comically exaggerated conservative talking points

Grand Prize: The Coveted Golden Halo

The winning family of this intense family values competition will take home the revered Golden Halo, a trophy that glows with the light of moral superiority. Plus, they’ll win a year’s supply of holy water and a one-way ticket to the 1950s!

March E. Tellerman, our Master of Marketing Madness at PISR, couldn’t contain his excitement about ‘Dobson’s Choice’: “Sweet fancy Moses, folks!

This family values competition is gonna be nuttier than a squirrel’s Christmas stocking! It’s like we took the American Dream, dipped it in holy water, and served it up with a heaping side of good old-fashioned family drama.

If watching this doesn’t make you wanna say the Pledge of Allegiance and bake an apple pie, then I don’t know what will!”

Don’t miss the premiere of ‘Dobson’s Choice’, where we finally answer the burning question:

Can traditional family values survive under the pressure of 24/7 surveillance and ruthless competition? Stay tuned, and may the most virtuous family win!