Dogs Declare War on Vacuum Cleaners: The Canine Crusade for a Fur-Filled World

In a solemn and unprecedented assembly, the global canine community has formally declared a state of opposition against a long-standing domestic adversary: the vacuum cleaner. This declaration, treated with the seriousness of a diplomatic conflict, signals a critical juncture in the historical tension between dogs and these noise-emitting, fur-eliminating machines.

The ( CAVA ) Group Meeting

At a recent gathering convened under the solemn shade of an old oak tree at a Pasadena dog park, the Canine Anti-Vacuum Alliance (CAVA) announced their campaign. “Our mission is the preservation of our natural living environment against the invasive and distressing presence of vacuum cleaners,” stated the group’s spokesperson, a distinguished and composed Border Collie.

Ingrid Newkirk, founder and President of PETA, commented, “This development is more than a whimsical protest; it represents a profound statement on domestic cohabitation. Dogs are advocating for a recognition of their comfort and well-being within the household. PETA fully supports their efforts.”

The Canine Manifesto

CAVA’s manifesto includes a call for the prohibition of vacuum cleaners and a return to traditional, less intrusive cleaning methods. “We advocate for the integration of our natural state into the domestic setting, accepting fur as part of the shared living space,” added the Border Collie, amid nods of agreement from the assembly.

Squirrels To Derail CAVA

Cat lovers mock these efforts, “What idiots. A dog’s natural living environment is outdoors. But the second dogs stand up to humans, maybe cats will finally be recognized as man’s best friend. Cat lovers can dream, can’t we?”, stated Susan Caesar-Ranch.

Updated development: the dogs have pivoted their efforts to a domestic invasion of a “squirrel armada.” Barks are underway.