Tesla Stock Price Plummets

Experts Are Furious About This New Tesla Stock Price Plummeting Method

In a shocking turn of events that has financial analysts reaching for their blood pressure medication, Tesla stock price has taken a nosedive faster than a SpaceX rocket with faulty landing gear. The electric vehicle giant reported a staggering 45% drop in European sales this January, while the overall EV market grew by 37.3%. Is this just a temporary setback for the world’s most valuable car company, or has Elon Musk discovered an innovative new method for tanking Tesla stock price?

The Revolutionary “Political Self-Sabotage” Strategy

Industry experts suggest Musk has pioneered a groundbreaking approach to business: actively alienating your largest markets through controversial political activities. His support for Germany’s far-right AFD party coincided with a 60% sales drop in Germany, while his suggestion to jail the UK Prime Minister correlated with a 12% decline in British sales.

“It’s like he’s playing 5D chess, but the board is on fire and he’s using his own stock certificates as kindling,” said fictional analyst Sasha Bloomberg from Nonexistent Capital.

Competition Heats Up as Tesla Cools Down

Chinese EV makers like BYD are swooping in faster than vultures at a roadkill convention, offering competitive models without the baggage of a CEO who makes hand gestures that may or may not resemble historical dictators’ greetings.

When asked about the situation, Elongated Muskrat, Founder and Chief PISR, commented: “I bought ‘PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com’ for $44 billion before it even launched! If that’s not genius, I don’t know what is. All I ask of you, the people, is to be honest and not make this look like I’m the one who f-ed up.”

The Future of Tesla

As Tesla stock price continues its downward journey, some wonder if this is all part of an elaborate plan to buy back shares at discount prices. Or perhaps Musk is simply testing how bulletproof the Tesla brand really is.

Either way, European consumers have spoken with their wallets, and they’re saying “Auf Wiedersehen” faster than you can say “controversial political endorsement.”