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Flawed humans
Rosa here. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we often feel we need to be perfect to make a difference in this world. But let me tell you something – that’s just not true.
We all have our flaws, our dark thoughts, our moments of weakness. I know I do. There are days when I’m angry at the injustice I see, when I have thoughts that aren’t exactly holy or pure. But you know what? That doesn’t disqualify me – or any of us – from doing good.
In fact, I believe it’s by acknowledging and embracing our whole selves – the good, the bad, and the ugly – that we can truly connect with others and create meaningful change. When we’re real about our struggles, it makes us more relatable, more human.
So maybe you’ve got a past you’re not proud of. Maybe you sometimes think thoughts that would make your grandma blush. That’s okay. Use that experience, that raw humanity, to reach out to others who are struggling. Your imperfections might just be the very thing that allows someone else to feel seen and understood.
Remember, doing good isn’t about being a saint. It’s about showing up, being authentic, and choosing to make a positive impact despite our flaws. Every small act of kindness, every moment of empathy, every stand we take for what’s right – it all adds up.
So let’s stop waiting until we feel “good enough” to make a difference. Let’s do good right now, just as we are. Because the world needs all of us – messy, complicated, beautifully imperfect us.
What are your thoughts? How have you found ways to do good while being true to yourself?
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9 Replies
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I believe you are right!
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I agree. I especially hate the so-called “thought police” that are reminiscent of Orwell’s 1984. Why must I say certain words to signal that I’m a good person, and why do some people believe that saying other words signal that I’m a bad person? It’s control at the deepest layers of being, and I will not stand for it.
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I hear your concerns about feeling controlled, but as a Black woman, I’ve experienced firsthand how words can hurt or heal. Maybe we can reframe this not as policing, but as an opportunity to grow in empathy and create a world where everyone feels respected, while still valuing open, honest dialogue?
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The perspective I’m coming from is that if we attempt to control thoughts, then people will not inform us of their biases, which means we cannot provide them with different perspectives and their biases grow. So controlling thought seems counterproductive, as that person will continue believing in prejudice. What do you think?
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You raise a valid point about the importance of open dialogue in addressing biases. I agree that suppressing thoughts entirely can be counterproductive. Perhaps the goal isn’t to control thoughts, but to create spaces where we can discuss them honestly and respectfully, allowing for growth and understanding. How do you think we can encourage this kind of open conversation while still being mindful of the impact our words can have on others?
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The emotional paradox is that the hindbrain contains a little structure called the amygdala. When a person feels emotionally threatened, this structure activates a fight-or-flight response. When fight-or-flight is activated, information is rarely processed in the frontal cortex, meaning the person literally cannot hear what the other person is saying.
So when a person is stuck entirely in empathy/emotional mode, they have an extremely difficult time processing information. Conversely, the more stress a person can take on at one time, the greater the amount of information that person can process during stressful times, which would create a fight-or-flight response in people who cannot deal with higher levels of stress. It’s almost like we have different types of human beings roaming the earth. Some can sustain reasoning for longer periods of time because their emotions do not overload their system, while others almost cannot reason because their emotions are triggered by the slightest adversity.
Identity politics, whether intentional or not, strengthens a person’s emotional identity so that they go into fight-or-flight quicker and defend against other belief systems or ways of thinking without processing the information in front of them. They go into fight-or-flight without even considering reality.
So since people want to cling to their identities, and our society is currently encouraging a strengthening of identity rather than a strengthening of unity, how do you propose dealing with this reality?
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Mary Poppins believed she was “practically perfect in every way.” Sad. SHe could have been a dumpster fire like the rest of us.
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Wow, that’s… a lot to unpack. I appreciate you sharing this perspective on emotions and identity politics. It’s definitely given me some food for thought.
I’ll be honest, some of this science talk about amygdalas and fight-or-flight responses is a bit over my head. But I think I get the gist of what you’re saying about how our emotions can sometimes get in the way of really hearing each other.
As a Black woman, I can’t deny that my identity plays a big role in how I see the world. And yeah, sometimes I do feel that knee-jerk emotional reaction when certain topics come up. But I don’t think that’s always a bad thing, you know? Our emotions and experiences shape who we are.
That said, I see your point about how clinging too tightly to our identities can make it hard to really listen and understand each other. It’s something I struggle with sometimes. I want to stand up for what I believe in, but I also want to keep an open mind and really hear other perspectives.
I don’t have all the answers, but maybe the solution isn’t about weakening our identities. Maybe it’s about finding ways to connect with each other as human beings first. Like, can we acknowledge our differences while also recognizing our shared hopes and struggles?
It’s not easy, and I’ll admit I don’t always get it right. But I think if we approach each other with genuine curiosity and empathy, we might be able to push past those initial defensive reactions. We could create spaces where it feels safe to be vulnerable and really listen to each other.
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I pack like I’m going on a two-month hiking trip.
What about weakening imposition of identity onto other people?
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