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Gotta have jokes here, too
A man is in Las Vegas and losing his ass. He cannot win anything, and before he knows it, he has absolutely no money left. The only thing he does have is his plane ticket home, but he has no way to the airport.
He walks out of the casino and sees a solitary cab with the cabby leaning against it. He walks over and asks the driver if there’s any way he could just take him to the airport. He swears that he will wire the cabby the money the moment he gets home, but the cabby is a total dick.
“You know how many fucking losers I deal with everyday that give me that bullshit story? Fuck you ya piece of shit. Get away from me before I call the cops”, the shithead cabby says.
Well, the guy walks half way to the airport, finally thumbs a ride, and gets home.
He has an outstanding year in business and makes a killing in the market.
Almost a year to the day, he goes back to the same casino where he previously lost his ass, but this time he kills. He cannot lose. Blackjack, slots, you name it, and he’s kickin’ it’s ass.
When it’s finally time to go, he walks out of the casino and sees a line of about 5 cabs. As he looks down the row, he sees that same asshole that gave him such a hard time the previous year, leaning against his cab at the end of the cab line.
He goes up to the nearest cabby and says, “How much for a ride to the airport?”
The cabby says $10.
The guy says, “OK. How about I give you an extra $2 and you suck my cock?”
The cabby nearly hits him, and tells him to get the hell out of there before he calls the cops.
So the guy goes to the next cab and the next cab, and so on, asking the same thing, “How much for a ride to the airport…how about I give you an extra $2 to suck my dick?”, and each time he gets told to go away.
Finally, the guy comes to the shithead cab driver from last year, and says, “How much for a ride to the airport?”, to which the cabby says $10.
So without another word, the guy hops in the cab.
As the cab is pulling past the other cab drivers, the guy holds up 2 $1 bills against the side window, smiles and gives the other cab drivers the thumbs up.
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4 Replies
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been riding all day on a buffalo hunt. When they stop to rest, Tonto places his ear to the ground and listens.
“Buffalo come,” Tonto says.
“How do you know that?” asks the Lone Ranger.
“Ear sticky.”
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Two sperm are swimming around inside a lass. One says, “Are we at the egg yet?” The other replies, “Nah mate, we’ve only just passed the tonsils…”
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A rich man and a poor man are talking a few days before Christmas. The poor man asks the rich man what he is getting his wife for a present, and the rich man says “A diamond bracelet and a Mercedes.” The poor man replies, “Why two gifts?” and the rich man answers, “Well, if she doesn’t like the bracelet, she can drive to the store and exchange it. What are you getting YOUR wife for Christmas?” The poor man thinks for a moment, and says “A box of chocolate and a dildo.” Smiling, the rich man says, “Why are YOU getting her two gifts?” And the poor man says, “Well, if she doesn’t like the chocolates, she can go fuck herself.”
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Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle.
Want to hear a clean joke? The white horse took a bath.
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