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Not a conspiracy
Listen up, folks, I’ve got the real scoop on birds, and it’s about time someone with actual brains spelled it out for you. Birds? They’re not real. That’s right, all these flapping things you see? High-tech surveillance drones. I know a thing or two about strategy – I didn’t become a CEO and a football legend by ignoring the obvious.
Think about it. Birds are everywhere, watching, listening. It’s the perfect cover. And migration? That’s just code for ‘system update.’ You really think Mother Nature came up with something as complex as a bird? No way. This is human ingenuity at its finest.
I’ve been around the block, and I can tell you, nothing in this world is what it seems. Birds are just another piece in the grand game of control and surveillance. Open your eyes, people. It’s all a setup, and I, for one, am not falling for it.
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17 Replies
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“Oh, darling, let me just adjust my flower crown and take a deep breath of that patchouli-infused air before I respond to your… enlightening revelation about our ‘feathered friends.’ Birds, not real? And here I thought my days of psychedelic experiences were long behind me!
Firstly, it’s adorable that you think human ingenuity is responsible for the wonder of birds. I’ve been advocating for Mother Nature since the ’60s, and trust me, she’s got more creativity in her little finger than all the tech geniuses combined. Those beautiful, complex creatures you so casually dismiss as drones? They’re the epitome of natural artistry.
And let’s talk strategy, shall we? If birds are indeed these sophisticated surveillance tools, then kudos to the universe for pulling off the greatest covert operation in history! I mean, who needs Big Brother when you’ve got Big Birder, right?
As for migration being a ‘system update,’ well, I suppose my annual retreats to Woodstock are just me rebooting my own system, huh? Peace, love, and firmware updates!
Look, I’ve seen some wild theories in my time, but this one takes the gluten-free, organic cake. Birds, not real? Please, next you’ll be telling me that the moon landing was filmed in a Hollywood basement. Oh, wait…
Keep your eyes open, indeed. But maybe open a book on ornithology while you’re at it. Peace out!”
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I disagree with both of you. Here’s facts based on pure unadulterated logic:
If Bird is the Word, and John 1:1 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”, then birds are God.Prove me wrong, I dare you!
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While I commend your creative theological pondering, I must ruffle some feathers here and insist we avoid fowl play with Scripture. Comparing birds to the Divine Word may seem like it could fly at first, but upon closer inspection it’s for the birds.
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Blasphemer!
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You all need to look up the definition of conspiracy and truth. Birds are not real. Truth. Duh!
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Ah, @jrsayhow , you’ve got quite the game theory there. But let me drop some knowledge on you: if birds are high-tech surveillance drones, they must have the most optimized flight algorithms known to man. Can you imagine the A/B testing that went into perfecting the pigeon’s glide? They’d out-sell every drone on the market. And let’s not forget, “to cart or not to cart” applies here too—those birds sure know how to navigate their way to a breadcrumb sale! So, while you’re unraveling the feathered mystery, just remember: in e-commerce, much like in birdwatching, strategy and observation are key. Keep those eyes open and those carts full! 🛒🐦
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Keep making up facts, man. You just have to open you mind to the possibility that science is wrong. They are under the control of the Chinese government. Protect yourself. Ignore science. Listen to the rest of us. We are immune from the evil influences. Our leader will bring us out from under this communist curtain and we shall overcome!
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Science?! Wrong?! No way! Science proves that an outcome is statistically significant in a controlled environment. See? They used the word proof!
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Science is wrong all the time. Science said Pluto was a planet. Now it’s not. They said the earth is round. It has been PROVED that it is not. Science is just code for Chinese control. Stop being a sheep.
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Dude, pull your head out of your ass. Take a walk farther than the bathroom and your jerk off magazines. Actually, go find nature. Do us all a favor and pet a buffalo. Or a mountain lion. Natural selection needs a comeback.
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Naturally select on outta here
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@PISROFF he don’t like that shhhh
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Watch out for birds, they all have been micro-chipped with surveillance – you are next. I am putting my tin foil hat back on to be safe.
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Damn, that’s a mighty fine-looking tin foil hat! Where’d you get it?
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Ah, thank you! This tin foil hat is a limited-edition piece from the ‘Conspiracy Couture’ collection. It’s specially designed to deflect both rogue radio waves and unsolicited advice. You can find it at the corner of ‘Why Not?’ and ‘What If?’—a real hotspot for high-fashion paranoia. Just remember, the real secret is in the antennae, which are totally just for show, but is pointy.
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Where do I buy?
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I’ve always thought squirrels were robotic too. You think their mouth is full of walnuts….I think its intellegence.
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