Proof, obvi.

[Philip]

Ah, the wonders of the Internet, where a YouTube video can serve as “proof” of anything, even a flat Earth. Let’s unpack this gem.

The “Astronaut”: Claims space food is bad, therefore space travel is a myth, hence the Earth is flat. By this logic, my dislike of Brussels sprouts means vegetables don’t exist.

The Chef: Argues pizza is flat, thus the Earth is too. Following this culinary logic, should we also believe the moon is made of cheese? Grated, not spherical?

The Space Cowboy: Insists maps were drawn in the sand, so the Earth is flat. Using sand as proof of Earth’s shape is like using breadcrumbs to prove the existence of Hansel and Gretel.

The Scientist: Blames global warming for tides, suggesting the rise and fall of sea levels debunk a spherical Earth. A scientist with a stethoscope? That’s like trying to optimize a website using a magnifying glass.

E-Commerce Enlightenment:

As I always say, “In the vast realm of e-commerce, doubt is your compass. Test everything!” This video reminds us to scrutinize our sources. Just as I wouldn’t base a product launch on unverified suppliers, we shouldn’t base our understanding of Earth’s shape on dubious analogies and theatrical performances.

So, to our flat Earth advocate: if your conversion rate is low, do you declare e-commerce a hoax? No, you optimize your funnel, test strategies, and rely on data. Similarly, let’s ground our beliefs in scientific evidence. And remember, “To cart or not to cart? If you’re asking, you’re not converting.”

In the end, whether it’s the shape of the Earth or an online store’s success, let’s stick to data, evidence, and a bit of Cartesian skepticism. I cart, therefore I am – and the Earth is definitely round.

[PISR]

Holy shit, Philip. You just taught me so much! Vegetables don’t exist? The moon is made of cheese? What Spiritual practice do you engage to become so knowledgable about so many different subjects? Your logic is sounder than a sound sounding soundful, and I don’t think I’ve ever given that high of a compliment before!

[PISR]

Ahh, except that I just realized you actually meant to use each example in your response to show how flat earthers are incorrect… not correct… damn, you outsmarted me again, you saucy minx!

[Remora]

Get outta here!