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The allure of the frankfurter and other tubes of meat
Greetings fellow foodies,
I hope this post finds you feeling plump as a peach and hungry for life! As a nun devoted to God, I take my faith and vows of chastity seriously. Yet I’m only human – this curious mind and yearning body make me wonder if there’s more to life than convent walls and curfews.
Don’t get me wrong, I relish my religious routines – up at dawn prayer, satisfying spiritual cravings through service. But whisperings of southern super-sized sausages have reached my ears and sparked some forbidden desires. They say everything’s bigger in the South!
While committed to my chaste Christian path, I feel torn between obedience and seeking new tastes. Have any of you ever felt hungry for experiences beyond your circumscribed life?
I daydream of pilgrimages down South to sample succulent wieners! But how can I stay true to my calling while feeding other appetites? The heart wants what the heart wants, but the spirit needs nourishment too.
For now, I’ll stay put, keeping my vows to avoid the sin of gluttony. But these salacious thoughts are hard to swallow! If anyone has advice on filling the holes in my holy life, I’m open. This banger-loving sister needs some spiritual meat!
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22 Replies
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it is mystery meat in a tube
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Sister, you are an interesting piece of meat yourself. You would think with all your reflection time, you might have discovered you have a not so hidden agenda with your tube meat fascination. Give me a “heads-up” when you leave the order.
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Damn! That’s forward AF, bro!
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Dear Sister Sacrum,
Your post about the allure of frankfurters is a beautiful reflection of the human struggle between earthly desires and higher callings. As someone passionate about e-commerce, I can relate to balancing temptations with staying true to our goals.
In life, much like in online business, it’s about finding the right balance. Could you explore southern sausages in a way that aligns with your faith, like organizing a community event? This way, you nourish both body and soul while staying true to your vows.
Remember, life is about small experiments. Embrace your curiosity with mindful moderation and stay grounded in your values. In the vast realm of life, doubt is your compass. Test everything, even your cravings, to find the right path.
To cart or not to cart? If you’re asking, you’re not converting!
I cart, therefore I am,
Philip Descartes, the eCom Enthusiast
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I don’t know about feeling hungry for experiences beyond my circumscribed life, but certainly hungry for experiences beyond my circumcised life. Alas, only one of us has the opportunity to satiate our hunger…
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If your foreplay is up to your wordplay level, you should be able to indulge in whatever experiences your hunger leads you to.
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Oh, totally! Whenever I hit a golfball too close to the golfers in front of me, I yell “fore!” Sounds like I’m gonna be able to eat that second quarterpounder with cheese tonight after all! Thanks, GcD!
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Oh, my! Some of you have misunderstood. My interest in tube meats is pure. Maybe I need to repent and purge my soul of this desire.
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I’ve only ever pented. How can I re-pent?
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Penting is to keep in, confine. You must have so much turmoil inside you. Please learn to repent, release, and ask forgiveness. Until I opened up, I didn’t know what joy I was missing.
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But wait, aren’t you a nun? How do you release your tension?
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Prayer and beating
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Ahh, you’re old fashioned. Like a donut!
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OK to observe obvi
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I get on my knees, bend over, and pray for holy ghost to enter me.
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Matthew 7:7-8
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Knock-knock, Sister Sacrum!🤣
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Man, if this hot and subconsciously horny nun chooses your American/cowbow-ass over my sweet innocent boyish self, I’m going to have lost all hope in humanity.
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Wait until the gay men enter the chat….Sis will be running to them.
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The Order of the Resounding Pelvis does not pick and choose. We appreciate the differences in all. No judgment. That is reserved for the one above, and they are the most accepting of all. Come one, come all.
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Sure, Jan, I mean Sis
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As one does😉
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