From Protests to Petitions: The Evolution of PETA’s Tactics
From Protests to Petitions: The Evolution of PETA’s Tactics
In an era where the fate of a slightly deflated balloon evokes the kind of emotional turmoil once reserved for Shakespearean tragedies, it’s no surprise that PETA’s latest iteration of activism tactics has the world on the edge of its seats: shifting from public protests to online petitions.
Clicks Over Bricks
Leading the charge in this revolutionary strategy is PETA’s Senior Vice President of Media Relations, Colleen O’Brien, whose recent study, “Clicks Over Bricks: The Future of Activism,” suggests that the energy expended in signing an online petition is roughly equivalent to the emotional investment in mourning the aforementioned balloon. “It’s a seismic shift in the landscape of advocacy,” claims O’Brien. “We’ve learned that most people don’t truly care enough about animal rights to be real activists, but armchair activism is so easy that most armchair activists don’t even know what they’re signing. That’s what we plan to capitalize on.”
Comfort of Home Protesting
The pièce de résistance of this grand strategy? A proposal to replace all physical protests with virtual reality sit-ins, where participants can experience the thrill of activism from the comfort of their own living rooms while primarily focusing their attention on the most recent shitty Netflix release.
All on the Phone
As PETA transitions from the streets to the information superhighway, one thing is clear: the future of protest lies not in the power of our voices, but in the might of ignorance and hashtags. So, in solidarity with the plight of slightly deflated balloons everywhere, let us raise our screens high and petition for a world where every click is a step towards salvation.
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