Gifted Programs: The Master Plan to Save Us from Bored Geniuses

Gifted programs in schools have long been hailed as the salvation for our brightest minds. But what if these programs are actually just a cunning plan to keep these mini-Einsteins from unleashing their boredom on the unsuspecting masses? Desi, a former “gifted” student, reveals the true purpose behind these so-called educational enhancements, and it’s not what you think.

Isolating the Brains: A Noble Cause

Imagine a world where gifted students roam free, asking profound questions and spinning in their chairs. Chaos, right? Thankfully, gifted programs step in to isolate these intellectual hurricanes, sparing the rest of the classroom from their disruptive brilliance. As Desi recalls, “Answering your questions is taking up time where the teacher can actually be teaching the rest of the kids what they’re supposed to know.”

Boredom and Disruption: The New Norm

Who needs productive learning when you can have endless supplies of science projects and arts and crafts? Gifted programs ensure that smart kids stay busy without actually progressing in their knowledge. “They’re gonna give us the numbers on the standardized test, just give them the freaking test,” Desi aptly notes.

Anxiety and Depression: The Gifted’s True Gift

It’s not a real education unless it comes with a side of anxiety and depression. Gifted programs place so much value on intelligence that kids grow up to be anxious, insecure adults. But hey, at least they know their IQ score, right?

“Who knew our approach to education was so similar to my method of balancing a spreadsheet: keep the numbers that matter isolated and let the rest pile up in a chaotic mess,” quips Adam S. Marks, CFO of PISR.

Segregation: Keeping Schools Divided, One Genius at a Time

Gifted programs are also fantastic at maintaining the racial and economic divides in schools. Nearly 60% of gifted students are white, while Black and Hispanic students are often left out. But who needs diversity when you can have a classroom full of future geniuses?

“Why bother integrating all students when you can simply keep the ‘geniuses’ in a bubble and let the rest fend for themselves?” – Marcia Gentry, Professor of Education Studies

In the end, gifted programs might just be the masterstroke of our educational system. They keep the smart kids busy, the regular kids unchallenged, and maintain the status quo of segregation and anxiety. Isn’t it wonderful how our schools are preparing our kids for the real world?