What Experts Don’t Want You To Know About the “Harris Flubs Pledge” Incident: A Scientific Analysis

What Experts Don’t Want You To Know About the “Harris Flubs Pledge” Incident: A Scientific Analysis

In what can only be described as the most crucial crisis of our time (according to Twitter), Vice President Kamala Harris flubs pledge recitation, sending shockwaves through the social media landscape and causing countless Americans to suddenly remember that the Pledge of Allegiance exists. As the Harris flubs pledge incident continues to dominate headlines, we dive deep into this earth-shattering event.

The Science of Verbal Stumbles

According to Dr. Fibonacci Sequence, Director of the Institute for Unnecessary Studies, “Our research shows that 87.2% of people who express outrage over pledge mistakes also regularly say ‘expresso’ instead of ‘espresso’ and think ‘irregardless’ is a word.”

Expert Analysis from PISR

PISR’s own Guru Og Tritium, Content Moderator, offered his unique perspective: “Man, words are like… wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the Harris flubs pledge thing. That’s heavy, dude. Like, gravity heavy. Or maybe that’s just my eyelids.”

Statistical Breakdown

Our research team has compiled some fascinating data:

– 99.9% of pledge critics have at some point said “for all intensive purposes”

– 3 out of 4 social media commentators can’t recite their own phone numbers backward

– 100% of people reading this article just tried to recite their phone number backward

The Social Media Meltdown

Former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln* reportedly commented via Ouija board: “Four score and seven tweets ago, people actually had real things to worry about.” (*This quote may not be historically accurate)