Jets coaching carousel

Jets Coaching Carousel Reaches Warp Speed: Hourly Head Coach Rotations Introduced

In a move that has the NFL community’s heads spinning faster than a Jets coaching carousel, the New York Jets have fired head coach Robert Saleh and unveiled their groundbreaking “Hourly Head Coach Rotation” system. This revolutionary approach comes after the Jets’ dismal 20-36 record under Saleh and their ongoing quest to find a quarterback who can throw the ball farther than their playoff hopes.

The Jet-Powered Coaching Merry-Go-Round: Now with Ejector Seats!

Jets owner Woody Johnson, sporting a “60-Minute Mentor” cap, announced the team’s cutting-edge strategy.

“Why have one scapegoat when you can have 24 in a day?” Johnson grinned maniacally.

“We’re calling it ‘The Jet-Powered Coaching Carousel,’ and we’ve even installed ejector seats for quick transitions!”

Quarterback Roulette: Now with Added Spin!

The Jets’ new coaching system perfectly complements their tradition of quarterback musical chairs. “We’ve started six quarterbacks in 56 games,” Johnson boasted. “With our new hourly coaches, we’re aiming for a new QB every 15 minutes. It’s like speed dating, but with more concussions!”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell commented: “We’ve always encouraged innovation, but the Jets have clearly misinterpreted the concept of a ‘rotating offense.'”

Elongated Muskrat, Founder and Chief PISR of PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, enthusiastically added: “Brilliant! Next, they should replace players with AI-powered mannequins. Less injury risk, and they’ll complete about as many passes!”

Woody’s Whirlwind of Wisdom

Johnson concluded the dizzying press conference: “By season’s end, we’ll have tried every coaching combination in the multiverse. Statistically, we’re bound to win a game… or accidentally create a black hole at midfield. Either way, it’ll be historic!”

As the Jets embark on this gravity-defying coaching carousel, one thing is certain: their commitment to chaos remains unmatched. Who knows? Perhaps this whirlwind of perpetual change is exactly what the Jets need to finally take flight – or at least hover slightly above rock bottom.

Meta description: The New York Jets introduce a mind-boggling “Hourly Head Coach Rotation” system. Will this Jets coaching carousel finally lift them to victory or send them spinning into oblivion?