Kamala Harris Stages Daring Coup to Seize Control of Biden Administration

Kamala Harris Stages Daring Coup to Seize Control of Biden Administration

In a shocking turn of events, Vice President Kamala Harris has brazenly stepped out of the shadows to grab the reins of power from a struggling President Joe Biden. As progressives grow increasingly disillusioned with Biden’s tepid leadership, Harris has launched a multi-pronged offensive to win over the fractious coalition that narrowly delivered them the White House in 2020.

Harris Employs Controversial Tactics to Woo Progressives

In a desperate bid to court the progressive wing of the Democratic Party, Harris has resorted to extreme measures like:

– Hosting gangsta rapper Fat Joe at the White House to discuss legalizing the devil’s lettuce 

– Personally escorting women to get abortions at Planned Parenthood clinics

– Shouting “CEASEFIRE!” at the top of her lungs while standing on the Edmund Pettus Bridge

One imagines a beaming Harris victoriously standing atop a pile of discarded “Ridin’ with Biden” yard signs.

Biden Relegated to Shuffleboard While Harris Takes Command

As Harris runs roughshod over the administration’s agenda, poor Joe Biden has been relegated to visiting Rust Belt diners and rambling about the good ol’ days of Scranton. An anonymous White House aide commented, “POTUS spends most of his time these days napping and yelling at clouds. VP Harris is 100% running the show now.”

Even Trump Fears Harris’ Growing Power

Incredibly, even former President Donald Trump is shaking in his golf cleats over Harris’ Machiavellian maneuverings. “Crazy Kamala is making Sleepy Joe look low energy!” Trump purportedly bellowed from the 9th green at Mar-a-Lago. “Not good folks, not good! We need to stop her before she gets her hands on the nuclear codes!”

While some may cheer Harris’ progressive pandering and power plays, one thing is crystal clear – Joe Biden’s days as top dog are numbered. Soon the official presidential portrait may feature Kamala cackling as she steps over Biden’s prone form in the Oval Office. America, brace yourselves for the Harris administration!