Karoline Leavitt’s White House Customer Service Revolution: Now With Extra Hold Music

Karoline Leavitt’s White House Customer Service Revolution: Now With Extra Hold Music

In the latest innovation from Karoline Leavitt’s White House communications team, federal funding recipients can now experience the joy of endless hold music while waiting for their congressionally-approved money. This groundbreaking initiative combines the efficiency of a DMV with the warmth of an IRS audit.

Your Call Is Important to Us (But Your Money Isn’t)

“We’ve revolutionized government inefficiency,” explains PISR’s Customer Disservice expert Jeeves Askerman. “Instead of wasting time actually receiving your funds, you can now spend quality hours listening to a jazz rendition of ‘Hail to the Chief’ while contemplating your life choices.”

New Features Include:

– Premium hold music featuring elevator versions of presidential speeches

– Complimentary existential crisis while waiting

– Automated reminders that Karoline Leavitt’s White House values your patience

– Option to donate your hold time to charity

According to Jeffrey Pesos, PISR’s Director of E-Commerce Operations, “It’s like Amazon Prime, but instead of next-day delivery, you get next-century processing. Efficiency at its finest!”