MAGA Supporters Perfect Simultaneous Denial and Panic as Harris Surges

In a stunning display of mental gymnastics, MAGA supporters at a recent Trump rally in Pennsylvania demonstrated their ability to completely deny Kamala Harris’ progress in the polls while simultaneously panicking about her surging popularity. This phenomenon, dubbed the “MAGA mood swing denial,” has political scientists and psychologists baffled.

The Art of Cognitive Dissonance

As Harris continues to gain ground in the polls, Trump supporters have mastered the delicate art of living in two realities at once. “I don’t believe for a minute that Harris has erased Trump’s lead,” said one rally-goer, while nervously checking FiveThirtyEight on her phone every 30 seconds.

Trump’s New Campaign Strategy: Yelling Louder

In response to Harris’ surge, the Trump campaign has unveiled its groundbreaking new strategy: saying the same things as before, but much, much louder. “We’re confident that if we just increase the volume of our messaging, voters will forget about the economy, inflation, and those pesky criminal indictments,” said a campaign spokesperson, shouting over the sound of Trump’s helicopter.

Personal Attacks: Because Policy is Boring

Trump himself has decided to focus on what truly matters to the American people: whether or not he’s better looking than Kamala Harris. “I’m much better looking than her,” Trump declared to thunderous applause, proving once and for all that presidential elections are essentially just very expensive beauty pageants.

Adolf Benito Zedong, Dictator of Operations at Politically Incorrect Social Responsibility, weighed in on the situation: “The simultaneous denial and panic we’re seeing in MAGA supporters is fascinating. It’s as if they’ve developed a new cognitive super-power – the ability to be overconfident and terrified at the same time. We’re calling it ‘Schrödinger’s Electorate.'”

As the election draws nearer, one thing is clear: the MAGA mood swing denial is in full effect. Trump supporters will continue to insist that the race is in the bag, while stockpiling anxiety medication and compulsively refreshing Twitter. It’s going to be a long road to November, folks.