Savannah Guthrie's Ultimate Guide: Toddler Trump Taming Tips

Savannah Guthrie’s Ultimate Guide: Toddler Trump Taming Tips

TODAY show anchor Savannah Guthrie unveils her groundbreaking toddler trump taming tips in her new parenting guide, “The Art of the Time-Out: From Oval Office to Playhouse.” Guthrie’s revolutionary approach applies hard-hitting journalistic tactics to the chaotic world of child-rearing, proving that whether you’re dealing with a fussy 3-year-old or a commander-in-chief, the same rules apply.

Art of time out from the oval office by savannah guthrie

Mastering the Presidential Playpen

Guthrie’s first toddler trump taming tip? Perfect the presidential playpen. “When your toddler throws a tantrum over sharing toys or your president throws a fit over sharing electoral votes, a well-timed timeout works wonders,” she advises. “Just ensure your playpen is sturdy and your Oval Office is Twitter-proof.”

Fact-Checking Fables: Is That Really Your ‘Final Executive Order’?

A split-screen of a toddler with chocolate-smeared face holding an empty cookie jar, and Trump at a podium with ink-stained hands clutching a blank executive order, both with "Pants on Fire" Politifact ratings above their heads

In her most controversial chapter, Guthrie tackles fact-checking fibs. “Whether it’s your toddler insisting they didn’t eat the cookies or a president claiming he won the popular vote, always be armed with facts,” she writes. “I recommend keeping a lie detector in your diaper bag and a Constitution in your briefcase.”

The Distraction Doctrine: Rattles and Ratings

Guthrie’s guide wouldn’t be complete without addressing the power of distraction. “When all else fails, redirect attention,” she advises. “For toddlers, a shiny rattle usually works. For Trump, just mention his TV ratings or hand him his phone.”

Negotiating Nap Time: The Filibuster Technique

The book concludes with Guthrie’s failsafe method for negotiating nap time: the filibuster technique. “Sometimes, you just have to out-talk them,” she explains. “Whether it’s a toddler demanding ‘five more minutes’ or a president insisting on ‘five more recounts,’ keep talking until they fall asleep or concede – whichever comes first.”

March E. Tellerman, PISR’s Master of Marketing Madness, raved about Guthrie’s approach: “Holy diaper rash, Batman! This guide is like a big, beautiful baby bottle filled with political Pedialyte! It’s the perfect recipe for turning your nursery into a mini-UN – or at least a slightly less chaotic G7 summit. If Savannah can wrangle Trump and toddlers, she could probably teach my pet rooster to moderate the next presidential debate!”

Savannah Guthrie in a ringmaster outfit, juggling a baby bottle, a microphone, and a toy-sized White House, while balancing on a tightrope between a playpen and an Oval Office set

As Guthrie’s toddler trump taming tips hit the shelves, parents and pundits alike are scrambling to apply her techniques. Will her methods revolutionize both parenting and politics? Only time will tell. In the meantime, stock up on timeouts, fact-checkers, and rubber duckies – you’re going to need them for your next White House press briefing or preschool playdate.