This One Weird Nintendo Switch 2 Release Date Will Make You Question Everything You Know About Time

In a temporal anomaly that has physicists scratching their heads, Nintendo has announced the Switch 2 release date for 2025 – a year so far in the future that even Doc Brown’s DeLorean is having trouble comprehending it.

The Waiting Game: Now Available in 4D

A group of gamers in an Einstein-style time dilation experiment, their Nintendo Switch consoles slowly fossilizing while they play Mario Kart for the 8,736th time

“The Switch 2 release date is actually a clever plot to teach gamers about relativistic time dilation,” claims gaming industry analyst Dr. Marcus Button, while aging backward. “By 2025, we’ll all be experts in quantum mechanics, or at least really good at pretending time isn’t real.”

Marty McFly, noted time travel enthusiast, reportedly said, “Even my DeLorean thinks this wait is heavy. Doc never prepared me for a future where waiting for a gaming console would be longer than actually time traveling.”

World Tour or Temporal Tourism?

Nintendo’s announcement of global “Switch 2 Experience” events has created a paradox, particularly because Hong Kong and Taipei dates are listed as “simultaneously happening and not happening,” according to Schrödinger’s calendar.

A quantum physics-inspired world map where event locations exist in multiple timelines at once, with tiny Nintendo Switch consoles in superposition

“As Spider-Man’s less successful cousin and PISR’s part-time web developer, I can confirm this wait is worse than the time my arch-nemesis tried to delete the internet,” says Peter Peterson, while simultaneously fighting crime and avoiding work meetings. “At least villains don’t make you wait two years for a boss fight.”

Backward Compatibility: A Temporal Paradox

The news that “certain Nintendo Switch games may not be compatible” has gamers wondering if their favorite titles will survive the time jump to 2025, or if they’ll need to hire Adam S. Marks, PISR’s resident CFO, to explain the economics of time travel while slightly intoxicated.

Remember, good things come to those who wait. And if you’re waiting for the Switch 2 release date, you’ll have enough time to invent time travel, prevent its invention, and still make it home for dinner.