Junior Manager Sr.

Hello there, minions of the internet! It's your favorite Senior Project Manager, Junior Manager, Sr and my wife does call me Mr. Manager in the bedroom. That's why I tell everyone who works for me to just call me Junior so I don't get an erection at work. Ethics! 

As the Senior Project Manager, I delegate tasks to the other employees. That's my job: to tell other people what to do and not get an erection. Not necessarily in that order. My employees work tirelessly to make sure everything runs smoothly, while I sit back and avoid eye contact with anyone who reminds me of my parents. It's like having a personal army, but without the sodomy. 

Our social cause products? They're all inspired by whatever the fuck my employees care about. Our forums promoting free speech? I make sure my employees keep their thoughts to themselves. If I want their opinion, I'll give it to them. And our blogs? Never learned to read myself, but I imagine they're great. (This bio was dictated to my secretary who prefers to remain anonymous)

But let's not forget about the amazing contributions from our users. They provide me with endless non-trademarked ideas to both appropriate and also not take credit for if they turn out unsuccessful. 

So if you're looking for a Senior Project Manager who's equal parts selfish and successful, but never compliments his employees no matter how fuckable they are, look no further than me, Junior Manager, Sr. I'm the manager you never knew you needed - until you pretend to not notice what a liability I am. Titties!