March E. Tellerman

Well, well, well, look who we have here! It's March E. Tellerman, the Chief Marketing Officer of "PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com". You can call me the Master of Marketing Madness, baby!

Let me tell you, I've been with this crazy train from the get-go, and I've seen some wild stuff. Once I even saw my Mama snort cocaine off of a gator's ass. The gator was dead. She'd beat it with a fire poker and castrated it with a butter knife for eating our family dog, Scooter. Anywho, our founder, Elongated Muskrat, is a lot like my mama sometimes and other times he's more like a honey badger on PCP! He's always been obsessed with doing good in the world; honestly, it's addictive, kind of like PCP. We've got a team of dreamers that's as wild as a bag of cats! No drugs involved in that metaphor ladies and gentlemen. The last thing you wanna do is add drugs to any situation that involves multiple felines in any kind of container. 

As the CMO, I'm in charge of spreading the word about our crazy badass website. We want everyone to know that they can make a difference with their purchases - we're like the Robin Hood of online marketplaces, except we're not stealing from the rich and there's no rooster playing a banjo. We're just inviting all people, rich or poor, to  buy ethical and eco-friendly shit and then maybe someday we can afford to buy a rooster playing a banjo. Or I guess we could just get a rooster and teach it to play the banjo. Any y'all play a banjo? 

But the real ass kicker? Our forums, baby! We don't believe in censorship - no sir! Why I called my wife a bitch in writing three times today already and that ain't even my record. Don't worry, it was consensual. Anywho, we're all about free speech, even if that means talking about things like the president being an alien from the sun or some flat-earth talk, or even things that don't actually make sense. We've had some heated debates, but we're not backing down, oh no! We're like the Wild West of online forums, baby! Only with less gunpowder and probably more discourse before the sheep fucking starts. 

And here's the cherry on top - our "DoGooder Creatives" program. We believe that art and humor can change the world, just like PCP addiction, and we're not afraid to get weird with it—the art and the humor that is. My Angel Dust Days are behind me. We've had some submissions that make us scratch our heads, and others that have us reaching for the Penicillin bottle, but hey, we're all about creativity, even if it makes you itch. 

So there you have it, folks - "PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com" is like a big, beautiful, Thanksgiving turkey filled with love and madness. And with me, the Master of Marketing Madness, cooking dinner every night for the foreseeable future, who knows where we'll end up! But one thing's for sure - it's really important I get a rooster that can play the banjo.