Max Perkins
Managing EditorMax Perkins Biography
Hey there folks, Max Perkins here - the Managing Editor of this place.
As the Managing Editor, I manage and edit. It's not complicated. I don't work hard and get paid a lot. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a firm believer in free speech, even if most people exercising their right to it are complete idiots. But hey, that's what the internet is for- a place where everyone can have a voice, especially if they're wrong and misguided.
I like to think of myself as a modern-day Mark Twain, except with less racial tension and no silly fake name. We take current events and spin them in a way that entertains me and makes you feel helpless to do anything about it. As long as you keep reading our stuff and avoid making meaningful changes in your own lives, I get paid and that's all that matters to me.
As far as our products go, we sell items supporting various social causes so that you think you're making a difference but also expounding minimal effort. Yeah, we have more in common than you thought. As long as you get a t-shirt supporting veganism and remain ignorant of the starving Indonesian child who made it, we all go home happy.
It's about time for me to wrap this up. I've got some blogs to skim and forums to read the title of and pass on to someone who cares. Thanks for reading, and remember, free speech is a right, and so is shutting the fuck up.
Max Perkins Contact Information
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Email
[email protected]
Professional Experience
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Managing Editor
Politically Incorrect Social Responsibility | 2023 - Present
- Successfully edited numerous articles with the least amount of effort possible.
- Raised the bar for lazy management, simultaneously increasing company profits and personal salary.
- Promoted the voice of misguided individuals, leading to a record number of useless debates.
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Junior Editor
Laissez-Faire Publications | 2010 - 2023
- Demonstrated exceptional ability to meet deadlines while not breaking a sweat.
- Reduced office stress levels by creating a laissez-faire (fairly lazy) work environment
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Proofreader
No Effort Books | 2008 - 2010
- Successfully and intentionally skipped over numerous typos and grammatical errors, fostering an environment where anyone could feel like a writer.
- Promoted a company-wide nap hour, leading to increased morale and decreased productivity.
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Intern
Lazy Writers Weekly | 2007 - 2008
- Earned accolades for implementing syringes filled with caffeine rather than drinking coffee.
- Initiated the practice of using desks as pillow forts so staff can nap during lunch, revolutionizing office comfort.
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Bookstore Clerk
Minimal Effort Bookstore | 2006 - 2007
- Showcased ability to read Young Adult novels on shift while ignoring customer queries.
- Introduced a 'do it yourself' checkout system, reducing personal effort and increasing theft by 65%.
Education
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Master's in Creative Writing and Professional Procrastination
The University of Doing the Bare Minimum | 2010 - 2012
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Bachelor's in English and Avoiding Responsibility
Avoidance Academy | 2006 - 2010
Skills
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Exceptional ability to edit while putting in minimal effort.
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Proficient in getting paid while barely working.
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Skilled in promoting free speech from people who no one wants to hear from.
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Adept at not caring.
Hobbies
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N/A.
References
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A selection of untouched manuscripts gathering dust on my desk.
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My well-fed wallet.