Max Perkins

Hey there folks, Max Perkins here - the Managing Editor of this place. 

As the Managing Editor, I manage and edit. It's not complicated. I don't work hard and get paid a lot. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a firm believer in free speech, even if most people exercising their right to it are complete idiots. But hey, that's what the internet is for- a place where everyone can have a voice, especially if they're wrong and misguided.

I like to think of myself as a modern-day Mark Twain, except with less racial tension and no silly fake name. We take current events and spin them in a way that entertains me and makes you feel helpless to do anything about it. As long as you keep reading our stuff and avoid making meaningful changes in your own lives, I get paid and that's all that matters to me. 

As far as our products go, we sell items supporting various social causes so that you think you're making a difference but also expounding minimal effort. Yeah, we have more in common than you thought. As long as you get a t-shirt supporting veganism and remain ignorant of the starving Indonesian child who made it, we all go home happy. 

It's about time for me to wrap this up. I've got some blogs to skim and forums to read the title of and pass on to someone who cares. Thanks for reading, and remember, free speech is a right, and so is shutting the fuck up.