Samantha Bankwoman Freed

Hello out there, world! It's me, Samantha Bankwoman Freed, the financial controller of this website that's all about making a difference while having fun. I’m most definitely not transgendered SBF escaped from prison, so don’t even ask…

I may spend my days analyzing spreadsheets and crunching numbers, but let me tell you, I'm also really boring. When I'm not balancing budgets, I'm googling horses or watching Oscar nominated movies that didn't win. I most definitely never spent my time being the cuckolded supposed leader of an Imperial Haram.

Boring people are important though. If it wasn't for me, this website would just be funny and engaging, but it was my idea to donate some of the proceeds from our merchandise sales towards important philanthropic endeavors too. On top of that there are also contributions from our users - I'm always blown away by the time they're able to focus on creative things rather than becoming paralyzed by the vast and imminent darkness that comes after we all die. 

When it comes to negotiating deals, I'm like a sloth that needs a nap - I will literally fall asleep in my chair until the other negotiator is so uncomfortable that they'll sign any document I give them and leave before I wake up. My spreadsheet skills are sharper than a freshly sharpened pencil, and I'm not afraid to use them to my advantage. When in doubt, I'll get it done. This is the end of what I have to say about myself.