Trump Vows to Deport All Non-Native Americans in Bold New Immigration Plan

In a stunning announcement during his visit to the U.S.-Mexico border, former President Donald Trump unveiled his most ambitious immigration plan yet: the mass deportation of all non-Native Americans from the United States. This extreme measure, which Trump calls “Operation Go Back Where You Came From,” aims to address what he perceives as the root cause of America’s immigration issues.

The Great American Exodus

Under Trump’s proposed plan, an estimated 98% of the current U.S. population would be subject to deportation. “We’re going to make America empty again,” Trump declared, “It’s going to be beautiful. Just a few folks left, living their best lives in teepees and hunting buffalo.”

When pressed about the logistics of such a massive undertaking, Trump responded, “Look, we’re going to build a really big catapult. The biggest catapult you’ve ever seen. And we’re going to launch people back to where they came from. It’ll be like a fun ride at Disneyland, but with more screaming.”

Making America Empty Again

Critics have pointed out the numerous flaws in Trump’s plan, including its blatant disregard for citizenship rights, international law, and basic human decency. However, Trump remains undeterred. “We’re going to make exceptions for the really good people,” he assured reporters, “Like my wife. And maybe some of my kids. We’ll see.”

When asked about the economic impact of removing virtually the entire U.S. workforce, Trump waved off concerns. “We’ll have robots do all the jobs. American-made robots. It’ll be great for the economy. Trust me.”

Elongated Muskrat, Founder and Chief PISR of PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, offered his unique perspective on Trump’s plan: “As a dreamer passionate about improving the world, I can’t help but wonder if Trump’s deportation fantasy includes sending people to Mars. I mean, technically, we’re all immigrants on the cosmic scale. Plus, think of all the jobs we could create in the space catapult industry!”

In conclusion, as Trump’s “Operation Go Back Where You Came From” continues to spark controversy and confusion, one thing remains clear: the former president’s immigration policies have reached new heights of absurdity. Or perhaps new lows. It’s hard to tell when everyone’s being catapulted.