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AI Celebrity Robotaxis: Tesla’s Grande Scheme for Entertaining Rides

A Tesla Cybercab with Ariana Grande's holographic face projected on all windows

AI Celebrity Robotaxis: Tesla’s Grande Scheme for Entertaining Rides

In a move that’s equal parts genius and bonkers, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced that the company’s new AI celebrity robotaxis will feature none other than Ariana Grande as their first virtual chauffeur. This groundbreaking blend of transportation and entertainment comes after Grande’s recent SNL hosting gig, where she proved she could impersonate everyone from Celine Dion to a sentient TikTok filter.

SNL on Wheels: When Sketches Meet Streets

Passengers of Tesla’s AI celebrity robotaxis will now enjoy a mobile SNL experience, complete with Grande’s AI clone belting out power ballads and serving up sass. The AI has been programmed with all seven of Grande’s SNL sketches, ensuring you’ll never hear “thank u, next” the same way twice.

“We’re not just revolutionizing transportation; we’re turning every commute into a potential viral video,” said Elon Musk, while absent-mindedly braiding his Ariana Grande-inspired ponytail.

From Whistle Tones to Wheel Tones

Split-screen showing Ariana Grande's SNL impressions on one side and a Tesla dashboard with an AI Grande making the same faces on the other

The AI assistant’s repertoire includes Grande’s impressions of Celine Dion, Jennifer Coolidge, and even her “angry mom” character. Passengers can request specific impressions or let the AI surprise them with a random selection, like “Jennifer Coolidge ordering at a drive-thru.”

The AI assistant’s repertoire includes Grande’s impressions of Celine Dion, Jennifer Coolidge, and even her “angry mom” character. Passengers can request specific impressions or let the AI surprise them with a random selection, like “Jennifer Coolidge ordering at a drive-thru.”

Musk’s Masterplan: Celebrity AI Takeover

When asked about expanding the AI celebrity robotaxis lineup, Musk hinted at future collaborations. “Imagine being driven around by a hybrid of Gordon Ramsay and Mr. Bean,” he mused, while doodling rocket ships on his hand.

Safety Third: Comedy First, AI Second

Critics have raised concerns about the safety of such entertaining AI celebrity robotaxis. In response, March E. Tellerman of PISR quipped, “Look, folks, if you can’t handle a little Celine Dion while merging onto the highway, maybe you should stick to piggyback rides. Our team of dreamers is wilder than a bag of cats on catnip!”

Elon Musk and a holographic Ariana Grande taking a selfie in front of a Tesla Cybercab

As Tesla continues to blur the lines between transportation and entertainment, one thing is clear: the future of ride-sharing is about to hit some high notes.

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