This AI Grandma Simulator Technology Has Real Grandmothers Ready to Throw Their Cookies at Zuckerberg
This AI Grandma Simulator Technology Has Real Grandmothers Ready to Throw Their Cookies at Zuckerberg
Meta’s latest AI grandma simulator technology is here, and it’s exactly as unsettling as you’d expect. Mark Zuckerberg’s attempt to digitize maternal guilt has resulted in a neural network that can simultaneously judge your life choices in 47 languages while burning virtual cookies in the cloud.
Your New Digital Nana 2.0
The basic package includes:
– Infinite variations of “You never call… your bandwidth”
– Algorithm-powered weight observations
– Quantum-encrypted guilt trips
– Blockchain-based recipe corruption
Steve Allen, PISR’s Master of Technology Chaos, is thrilled: “As someone who’s both wealthy and morally ambiguous, I love that this AI grandma simulator technology can be programmed to approve of my lifestyle choices. I’ve ordered five – one for each of my offshore accounts!”
When AI Meets Grandma Love
Real user feedback:
– “She keeps trying to mail me physical Bitcoin”
– “Somehow found my dating app profiles and shared them with my real grandmother”
– “Accidentally merged with my smart fridge and now only serves digital hard candies”
– “Keeps calling me by my IP address instead of my nickname”
Betty White (may she rest in peace) would have said: “In my day, we had to guilt-trip our grandchildren in person. This AI stuff is just lazy parenting with extra RAM.”
WARNING: The AI grandma simulator technology may cause unexpected side effects, including:
– Compulsive cookie baking
– Sudden urges to explain Facebook to real elderly relatives
– Inherited digital doilies
– Quantum knitting accidents
– Unexplained database corruptions that somehow fix themselves after you “call more often”
Hashtags: #AIGrandma #MetaFail #DigitalFamily #TechHumor #VirtualNana
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