Breaking: Politico Pundits Predict Predictions Will Predictably Predict

In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely no one, Politico pundits predict that their predictions will continue to predictably predict the predictable. This groundbreaking development comes after months of speculation, pontification, and prognostication from the esteemed political news outlet.

Pundits Pontificate on Predictable Predictions

“We’ve done the research, crunched the numbers, and consulted our crystal balls,” said one top Politico pundit, who requested anonymity to speak candidly about their predictions.

“And what we’ve discovered is truly mind-blowing: our predictions are almost certain to predict more predictions. It’s like a Russian nesting doll of divination.”

Sources inside Politico headquarters confirm that the newsroom is abuzz with excitement over this meta-predictive breakthrough. Editors are reportedly scrambling to create a new vertical dedicated solely to predicting the predictions of their pundits’ predictable predictions.

Industry Reacts to Politico’s Predictive Prowess

Politico pundits predict that their competitors will be green with envy over this development.

One rival journalist, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “They’ve cracked the code. We’re all just playing checkers while Politico is out here mastering 4D chess on a Ouija board.”

When reached for comment, Elongated Muskrat, Chief PISR at PoliticallyIncorrectSocialResponsibility.com, had this to say: “Politico’s pulsating plethora of prescient prognostications has pummeled the paltry pontifications of their peers. It’s like watching a psychic symphony, a metaphysical ballet, a telepathic tango! I’m running out of alliterative analogies, but you get the picture.”

Pundits Ponder Potential for Predictive Perfection

As Politico pundits continue to bask in the glory of their predictive powers, some are wondering if there’s a limit to their clairvoyance.

“What if we predict something so predictable that it creates a paradox and tears a hole in the space-time continuum?” mused one concerned commentator. “I mean, probably not, but it’s fun to speculate wildly about improbable scenarios. That’s kind of our thing.”

For now, though, it seems that Politico’s reign as the undisputed champions of political prognostication will continue unabated. And as for the rest of us? We’ll just have to wait and see what they predict next. Predictably.