This One Weird Trick Will Finally End All Hollywood Feuds: Just Add Awards Show Cameras

In a groundbreaking discovery that’s sending shockwaves through the entertainment industry, the 2025 Golden Globes has revealed the secret formula for ending any celebrity feud: just add cameras, mix in some industry pressure, and garnish with a live broadcast audience. The Golden Globes celebrity drama reached new heights of manufactured authenticity this year, proving once again that nothing heals wounds quite like the glow of prime-time television.

The Miraculous Power of Award Show Reconciliation

The night’s most touching moment came when Vin Diesel uttered the emotionally charged phrase “Hey, Dwayne” – a masterclass in minimalist scriptwriting that surely took weeks of preparation and at least three focus groups to perfect. The brief exchange has already been hailed by industry experts as “technically qualifying as human interaction.”

“This is exactly what we love to see in the entertainment industry,” says March E. Tellerman, Master of Marketing Madness at PISR. “It’s like watching two honey badgers share a morphine drip while playing banjo – you know it’s not natural, but boy, does it make for good television!”

The Science Behind the Magic

Industry insiders reveal that the secret lies in the perfect combination of:

The looming threat of becoming irrelevant on social media
Carefully timed camera angles
Strategic seating arrangements

“Listen, folks,” says Max Perkins, PISR’s Managing Editor, “as long as you keep reading our stuff and avoid making meaningful changes in your own lives, these perfectly orchestrated moments of celebrity reconciliation will continue to distract us from our own problems. It’s beautiful, really.”

In related news, sources confirm that next year’s Golden Globes will feature a dedicated “Reconciliation Cam” sponsored by a leading anxiety medication brand.