The Shocking Truth About Harvard Admission Rate Calculations That No One Is Talking About
The Shocking Truth About Harvard Admission Rate Calculations That No One Is Talking About
The Harvard admission rate calculation crisis has reached new heights as the prestigious university’s latest attempt to compute its acceptance percentage caused three supercomputers to file for early retirement. The mathematics department has reported that the number is so small, it requires its own zip code.
The Great Calculator Shortage
“We’ve had to establish a special task force just to count the zeros after the decimal point,” admitted Dean of Admissions Dr. Theodore Matthews, while attempting to explain the Harvard admission rate calculation process. “We lost two interns last week – they’re still somewhere in there counting.”
A.B. Zedong, Dictator of Operations at PISR, offered his unique perspective: “This website is the best of the best, and I won’t hear a word otherwise. But even I must admit, Harvard’s numbers are getting ridiculous. When I run a tight U-boat, at least I can count my crew members!”
When Math Professors Cry
The mathematics department’s latest solution involved writing the number by hand, but they ran out of paper before reaching the significant digits. “It’s like trying to count the number of students who actually attend their 8 AM classes,” explained Dr. Sarah Chen, head of Advanced Mathematics, “theoretically possible, but practically impossible.”
The late Stephen Hawking reportedly left a posthumous note about the situation: “I’ve studied black holes, quantum mechanics, and the mysteries of the universe, but Harvard’s admission rate remains the most incomprehensible number in existence.”
Quantum Computing to the Rescue
The university has partnered with NASA, CERN, and three psychics to tackle next year’s calculations. “At least we’re still more accessible than Stanford,” quipped one administrator, before their calculator spontaneously combusted. “They’ve started measuring their admission rate in imaginary numbers.”
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