Justin Baldoni's Accidental Guide to Manufacturing Celebrity Feuds

The One Simple Trick Justin Baldoni Used That Has PR Teams Questioning Everything

In what can only be described as the most unnecessary exposé since someone revealed that reality TV isn’t actually real, Justin Baldoni has accidentally given masterclass in manufacturing celebrity feuds. Justin Baldoni’s team has essentially written the “Dummy’s Guide to Digital Drama” – a book absolutely no one asked for but everyone’s apparently reading.

The Art of Digital Warfare

A "Choose Your Own Adventure" flowchart titled "So You Want To Start a Celebrity Feud?" with options like "Tweet and Delete," "Cryptic Instagram Story," and "Hire a TikTok Conspiracy Theorist"

As Jeffrey Pesos, Director of E-Commerce Operations at PISR, notes: “Drama is like coconut oil-dipped chainsaws – messy, potentially dangerous, but surprisingly effective at cutting through the noise.”

Ryan Reynolds, who wasn’t involved but probably wishes he was, probably commented in his head: “I can’t believe I missed the opportunity to turn this into a Aviation Gin commercial. This is exactly the kind of drama that pairs well with craft gin and crushing disappointment.”

The Hailey Bieber Blueprint

A movie poster parody titled "Fast & Furious: Social Media Drift" featuring Justin Baldoni and various celebrities aggressively typing on their phones while wearing racing jumpsuits

March E. Tellerman, Master of Marketing Madness at PISR, provides this sage wisdom: “Y’all, this reminds me of the time my mama tried to start a feud with a honey badger on Facebook. Sometimes the best marketing strategy is just letting sleeping influencers lie, especially if they’ve got more followers than your entire extended family combined.”

The Real Victims: PR Interns

In what might be the most tragic twist since M. Night Shyamalan discovered plot twists, countless PR interns were forced to explain Reddit, Discord, and something called “BeReal” to their Gen X bosses during this ordeal. Sources say at least three interns quit to become professional dog walkers instead.

In conclusion, if you’re planning to manufacture a celebrity feud in 2024, remember Justin Baldoni’s accidental masterclass: it’s not about the drama you create, it’s about how many social media managers you can send into therapy along the way.