Nintendo Game Rereleases: The One Weird Trick Making Executives Rich While Gamers Keep Buying
Nintendo Game Rereleases: The One Weird Trick Making Executives Rich While Gamers Keep Buying
In a revelation that’s shocking absolutely no one, Nintendo’s latest financial strategy of endless Nintendo game rereleases has proven that nostalgia is the gift that keeps on giving – to their bank accounts. The groundbreaking business model? Taking games people already own and releasing them again, but this time with a price tag that would make a yacht dealer blush.
The Art of Selling Your Childhood Back to You
“It’s like a beautiful cycle of eternal profit,” exclaims March E. Tellerman, Master of Marketing Madness at PISR, while hugging his limited edition Mario plushie. “You take something people loved as kids, add some HD textures, maybe fix that one glitch nobody liked, and BAM! You’ve got yourself a money printer that would make the Federal Reserve jealous!”
Adam S. Marks, CFO at PISR, adds while nursing his “Super Mario 64” themed cocktail, “It’s genius! The only other business model this efficient is selling water in bottles!”
Fans Discovering They’re Part of an Infinite Loop
An anonymous Nintendo executive was reportedly overheard at a party saying, “Wait, you mean we could have been making NEW games this whole time? But why? The old ones keep selling!”
Jeffrey Pesos, Director of E-Commerce at PISR, notes while counting his Mario-themed gold coins, “Our research shows that gamers will buy anything if you put the word ‘remastered’ on it. We could probably rerelease Pong at this point and call it ‘Pong: Ultimate HD Remix Director’s Cut’ and it would still sell out.”
Industry Revolutionized by Doing Less
The strategy has proven so successful that other gaming companies are following suit, leading to an industry-wide renaissance of doing absolutely nothing new while maximizing profits. Experts predict that by 2030, the gaming industry will consist entirely of rereleases of games from 1985 to 1995.
#NintendoGames #GameRereleases #RetroGaming #NintendoClassics #GamerHumor #VideoGameBusiness
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