Revolutionary Church Committee Organization Hack

This Church Committee Organization Hack Has Experts Furious And Bishops Baffled

The revolutionary church committee organization at First Community Church of Bureaucracy (FCCB) has achieved the impossible: they’ve created a Committee to Oversee Other Committees’ Oversight of Committee Oversight (COOCOCO), proving that there’s no problem that can’t be solved by adding another layer of administration.

The Divine Innovation

church committee organization A byzantine organizational chart resembling the Tree of Life, but with every branch leading to "TBD (To Be Deliberated)" and decorated with coffee stains arranged in the shape of a cross

This breakthrough in church committee organization came after an unprecedented 12-hour emergency meeting of the Committee on Emergency Meetings (COEM), which required three separate committees just to approve the coffee budget.

A. B. Zedong, PISR’s Dictator of Operations, remarks: “Finally, a power structure more complicated than my family tree!

This is the kind of church committee organization that would make Stalin proud.”

Revolutionary Results

The impacts have transcended mortal comprehension:

– Meeting minutes now longer than the Bible

– Parliamentary procedure debates require theological degrees

– Standard motion requires approval from committees that don’t exist yet

– New “Committee Status” section added to weekly prayer list

Max Perkins, PISR’s Managing Editor, observes: “I’ve seen less complicated government conspiracies. At least those only have three-letter acronyms. These people are using the whole alphabet… twice.”

church committee organization A church member sleeping on a cot in the fellowship hall, surrounded by binders labeled "Minutes from the Minutes Review Committee (MFMRC)"

The Future of Fellowship

According to the Committee on Statistical Analysis of Committee Statistical Analysis (COSACSA), the church now has more committees than members, leading to the formation of the Committee on Individual Multiplication for Committee Saturation (COIMCS) to study how one person can physically attend three meetings simultaneously.

The church’s newest initiative includes:

– Mandatory committee assignment at baptism

– Drive-through committee meetings for efficiency

– Advanced degree program in Professional Committee Participation (PCP)

– Automated Robert’s Rules of Order AI system (currently in committee review)

Roy Moss, PISR’s Director of Information, contributes from his bunker: “I don’t trust computers, but I trust committees even less. At least computers only crash once in a while.”

In conclusion, as stated in the newly adopted Committee Constitution (pending approval from 47 sub-committees): “Where two or three are gathered, there shall be a committee in their midst.”