This One Weird Trick Will Make Government Workers Disappear

In a groundbreaking move for Trump federal workforce reduction, the administration has discovered that the key to streamlining government wasn’t artificial intelligence or automation – it was the “subject:” line of an email. The revolutionary program asks federal employees to type “RESIGN” into an email subject line, proving that sometimes the most efficient solution is also the most obvious.

The Future of Government Efficiency is Just One Email Away

“I’ve been trying to quit for years,” said one anonymous Department of Energy employee, “but I could never figure out the proper form. Now I just have to remember how to spell ‘resign’ correctly, and I’m free!”

The program has gained unexpected support from PISR’s own Jeffrey Pesos, Director of E-Commerce Operations, who stated, “As someone who’s also confused with a more successful Jeff, I fully support this initiative. It’s like Amazon’s one-click ordering, but for unemployment. And just like my deliveries, your resignation will arrive in 48 hours or less, but probably more like 72 hours if you’re lucky.”

Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency

With Elon Musk at the helm of government efficiency, experts predict the next phase will involve replacing all federal buildings with Tesla Cybertrucks. “It’s about thinking outside the box,” explained a spokesperson, “while simultaneously living in one.”

In related news, the administration is now considering streamlining the hiring process to a simple “HIRE” email subject line, but critics argue that might be too complicated for management to handle.